Saturday, December 17, 2011

Week 10: Writing during Christmas preparations

Maximum number of words: 80,000
Words typed so far: 21,337
Words typed this week: 1514
Words lost this week: 0
Total increase: 1514
Days I managed to write this week: 4

Yay over the 20,000 mark and in ten weeks. Yay that is most of my methods done. I can leave it for now and get back to it when I have actually finished my writing up so can write on the analysis with hindsight rather than making guesses about how I will do it.

I actually had enough words in my notebook to write the full 2000 but decided against them. Some of the words were repetitions, some belonged in other sections and so on. Also I have not had the same concentration this week. I was very much carving out time from what my brain said I should be using to prepare for Christmas. However the preparations are largely sorted and so I don't need to feel too worried over the time spent on thesis.

The big task for while I am away is to work out where I go next. I think I am going to start on the chapter which at present has the title location. I think I want to leave the tradition to last but we shall see. I have basically chapters based on my ethnography with congregations: location, community and worship. Location could be context, and I suspect it will be the easiest as it also have a fairly limited literature base.

However there are Christmas and New Year in the next fortnight and therefore visits to family and God-family (I am God-parent to the two girls in the family). So I am not going to be writing until about the 6/7th January or at least writing up. What I do intend to do is a lot of general writing and reading. So please don't expect anything until 6/7th and even then it may be low on word count.

Hope you all have a good time over Christmas and may in the New Year you find fresh energy to tackle lives challenges.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Week 9 - Writing around a conference

Maximum number of words: 80,000
Words typed so far: 19,823
Words typed this week: 1894
Words lost this week: 0
Total increase: 1986
Days I managed to write this week: 3

Well as you can read about in my previous blog post I have had a conference this week. I travelled up Sunday and came back Tuesday evening. Actually due to timings of the conference I managed a half hour writing on one of the mornings but not on the second. The other thing is that I lost the second day, which was yesterday due to migraine. I suppose I could have done it today, but I did not. The net result of trying to do this is that I have been a lot less focussed than other weeks and my writing felt woolly at the start of today. I simply did not have the engagement with the methodological texts I have had previous weeks.  I think I have got it back on track, indeed I think some of the

Therefore I am going to try and write another 1000 words this coming week, there are several incentives for doing this. Firstly those 1000 will mean I have an amount that is about quarter of my thesis written. Secondly it means I have a sort of draft for my methodology. It isn't complete, there is something about analytic methods to go into the there, but as I have not even started started the second immersion I don't feel like I can write about it yet.

Now I must really do some file housekeeping and download the proof read section I need to final edit and get two other shorter sections off to my proof readers.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Back from Conference - The Theologians and the Church

I am back from the conference and I think it is a good idea if I reflect on it pretty quickly after it. I engaged with the conference on three levels, topics relevant to my thesis, as an ethnographer and finally as someone who is working out their own vocation which is connected with being a Doctor of the Church. I will try reflecting on them in order.

Topics relevant to my thesis
As far as theology goes I have three labels that are pretty easy to wear. I am contextual, Reformed and also liturgical. The last one is a complete surprise to  me. As a contextual theologian I am less likely to interested in the precise theology of a historical theologian although I might know they well (A talk on Schliermacher showed me quite adequately why people ever so often think either I should read him or have read him; I have pretty limited actual acquaintance but as I think from a fairly similar position often around similar issues there are a lot of resonances). Listening to the other two papers in the Reformed seminar and the one URC one in another were interesting. Perhaps one of the most telling things was the individual from the International Baptist College who was doing a paper on a Roman Catholic theologian because the resonance of his thought with what he experienced growing up as Roman Catholic despite his conversion to Baptist due to religious experience. A person can leave their tradition but as a rule a tradition does not leave a person.

As Reformed I found that quite often there is an ignoring of the Reformed tradition of splitting the process of Salvation from the process of Sanctification. It is quite an important difference. Salvation is on God's time scale, therefore based in eternity with moments where it breaks through into our time scale, the whole incarnation story being one of them, judgement day is another. A conversion experience may or may not be. The sanctification process is the action of the holy spirit in the believers life, as such it takes place within our own time scale. It is on going. It is on it that practical piety is based. You need to distinguish between the two. As my father said "faith is its own assurance" and that is the whole of faith not one segment of it. Another is that I am aware that English Reformed tradition for historical reasons has taken shall we say the road less travelled. There is a tension in Reformed tradition Reformata (Reformed) and semper Reformandum (always being Reformed).The more conservative of temperament tend to emphasis Reformata, that is the continuity with historic Reformed doctrine normally by adopting set formulations of the faith e.g. The Westminster Confession as normative. The more liberal tend to put emphasis on semper Reformandum, that is the ongoing re-alignment of the church with respect to the context, guided by the Holy Spirit through Scripture. It is a lot more fluid. The point being that English Reformed tradition has pretty solidly stuck with the second. It may well be alone in this, or it may be the case that it is shared by other Reformed traditions where the Reformed church has been subordinate to another tradition. Where Reformed churches have got strongly identified with national identity nearly always the first has dominated.

As someone with an interest in liturgy, I was very much at home in the seminar I went to. The disconnect I felt at the Society for Liturgical Studies was not there, although strongly dominated by more formal liturgical traditions. Reformed worship is profoundly liturgical, we have our whole theology of liturgy and in this case it was allowed to stand as a theology in its own right and not over written by those of a more formal tradition. What was interesting is whereas the Society for Liturgical Studies definitely had worship as part of its time table this group didn't. It is however surprising how many people don't realise that a place of transformation is a place of risk and therefore therefore it is oxymoronic to describe it as safe. Safe is incompatible with change.

Reflecting as an Ethnographer
To start with let me say, I did not think as clearly as perhaps I should have done about the ethnographic implications of me going to this conference. Central to my research topic is the dynamic between the tradition and the local congregation. The Reformed tradition is quite strongly influenced by its theological tradition, indeed on of the papers was on the nature of this. Therefore it was an opportunity to reverse the ethnographic direction. To actually see how those who might be seen as holding the tradition felt about their relationship with the local congregations.

There are several things that I would comment on. Firstly the fact that theology covers a wide spectrum of ideas and I don't think I heard from a single historical theologian at all. There are people who are studying in depth a particular aspect of a theologians life, there are theologians who are philosophical theologians who are working at how different aspect of theological ideas look through the lenses of different philosophies, there are liturgical theologians who are focusing on getting better understandings of the worship of the church, there are Biblical theologians who are interested in the relationship between the Bible and aspects of theology and there are sociological theologians who are looking at phenomena in the church life and asking how these fit with theological ideas. There maybe other groups I have missed. In sociology there is a common language that allows the postmodern autoethnographer to talk to the large scale survey based objectivist. They don't agree about anything but they have a language to disagree with. Do theologians have such a language? If not, is it a single discipline?

Related to this is the fact that there were three URC people there and they all fitted into a single category of Sociological theologians. Is there some reason why people in the URC are currently drawn to this particular stance?

Much of the talk was of the gap between the church and the theologian, I will come back to that later. There is I think another gap opening and being felt and that is between the theologian in the academy and the theologian in the church. I was hearing the complaint by those who were not within academic institutions that they felt isolated and cut off from the flow of theological ideas in the academy and from discussion.  Some of this is the loneliness of the part time doctoral student. Thesis writing is a lonely business and writing a thesis part time can be doubly so, at least intellectually lonely; you have very little time or opportunity to interact with like minded people. Often to get into the department takes determined effort and when we get there we are keyed into using the resources as well as possible. I should know I haven't been in mine for about a couple of years (although I have seen my supervisor regularly).  It is difficult to find the energy  and often simply have not got the time to develop collegiality on a regular basis with other students. Also it often depends on other students being organised for the same day as you. That was one of the reasons why the conference was so subscribed. However if there is more than this, then it needs addressing and it needs addressing quite urgently as these are the academy's ambassadors to the Church. The people who are able to talk and use theology in situ, and make it work.




Let me now look at the gap between the church and the theologian. There is perhaps good reason why theology at this time is looking to strengthen its ties with the Church, in the current economic climate the funding from the secular bodies is vulnerable. It makes sense therefore to strengthen your bonds with other sources of support and for theology the Church has to be one of them.

It seems to me however that there are two discourses at work here. There are two strong discourse at play here. Firstly there is the discourse of the good academic, the one who cites their sources, who ask the awkward question and seeks out the answer, who is into knowledge for its own sake and crosses boundaries in order to get that. Then there is the faith one, this is often into the orthodoxy, right belief, having things correct to give a coherency to the life of the believer. Both of these are very much authoritative approaches, with the first it is the discourse of having read, if you like the authority of the scribes who cited earlier scribes although the creative side pushes people further. The second is very much about being able to get things right. Sometimes these discourses work together, sometimes they are antagonistic. Good theology is done when these two are held in tension. When they work together then they can create a very fast flowing dynamic when in tension they can create some seriously rough experiences.

If the academy wants to move closer to the church, it is going to have to be prepared to take the churches concern with orthodoxy more seriously. It can only afford to ignore this when it is independent.  That will create tensions and the academy needs to be aware that if the church needs good theologians what it means by "good" is NOT what the academy means.

Also there is a tendency is for people to suggest to beginners that they do should not go into this stream because of the way the water runs, but there is a problem that there is no other stream. So the beginners are left with trying to learn to swim on dry ground. The only way around this is for the experienced to act as teachers of the beginners and not just tell them to get out of the water. That means noting that anyone who attempts to swim is wanting to be a swimmer. They may not be good at it, but they still desire it. Telling to get out the water because they can't swim is daft, if they do that (and I suspect plenty have) they will never learn to swim. A basic understanding that anyone can be a questioner after truth about God, and the act of validating the question if not the answer is important. It means the theologian has to learn humility, the ability to talk with sincerity at the level of the lesser skilled without treating their questions as invalid.

Finally as this conference well demonstrated, theology is not primary textual it is verbal. It is in debate, interaction and argument that ideas are created formed and tested. That goes as well for me the introvert as for the most extrovert theologian. This is partly why collegiality and such is important and why this conference drew people. Also Theology does not bear one of the hall marks of a writing based subject, it shows limited involvement with the practice of writing. Ethnography is and does, (quick search on Amazon, 1 book on writing theology, at least 8 for ethnography and where is the theological equivalent of writing across boundaries). A written discipline is more than a discipline where the vast amount of communication is textual (otherwise all disciplines are written today).

As you can see it was an ethnographically rich experience. There is a problem however with this, it makes everything doubly concentrated. Unfortunately participant-observation is a preferred learning style for me. I first did it before I knew anything of ethnography, when I went on a Qualitative Analysis course not to learn how to do Qualitative Analysis but to learn how Qualitative Analysts think, understand and approach research. Imagine telling ethnographers that you are with them because you are doing participant observation on them! Fortunately I was not doing it to write a paper but for personal development. My job required me to support them so I thought the more I understood about them the better I could do that job.

As a Doctor of the Church
I don't often use the formal title for my vocation, I know I am called to study, but to claim beyond that seems presumptuous of me. Indeed my minister uses the title for me more than I do. It is in the end not a title I can claim; only the title of a role in which I seek to serve. In a sense it is a role which I can only grow into, a Doctor is valued because of the standard of their work and that includes the ability to communicate it to others. It was nice to be in company where that was the assumed position of a speaker. There will have been people there who did not understand themselves in this way but they were likely to be the minority. Just as I was in the minority as someone who was not called to be a cleric. So yes it was good to be told that if there is a desire there is a way. I know there is the desire, it has exceptionally burnt strong and constant so far through my PhD. The big problem is that I haven't a clue of the way. One step at the time, and at present that is thesis writing. Then it will be getting the ideas out.

One thing that seems to be wrong is what theologians imagine modern biblical scholars do. There are indeed textual scholars who work on the minutiae of translation, but there is such a range now including the Bible's relations to society or this on Law in the bible. The tiny details they work with is no longer the sole methodology if it ever was.  Any theologian who thinks it is, has not been listening! I would suggest that there is a much smaller gap between the more thematic Biblical scholarship and the Biblical theology than between Biblical theology and say philosophical theology. If the two aren't talking they darn well should be. The church needs the varied insights, let us not seek to denigrate others as if they are taking glory from us.

Then comes the big challenge, the fact is a Doctor of the Church is a tool for God, we are not there to serve our own purposes. God is free to use us and free to lay us aside. We cannot demand the church listens, there is nothing anywhere to say that it must. I will do my utmost to use my insight but I must at the same time be aware that the Church is free. Now that is where I am coming from. I sensed a desire for recognition and for the ability to have our status recognised. I enjoy it being recognised, I freely ready to admit that, it is heady stuff when that happens. However in the end we can only receive that, we cannot demand it.

Having written this I suspect that there are two themes, one is the relationship between the theology of the Academy and the teaching authority of the Church. These are not one and the same. Secondly the challenge to build collegiality and recognition across boundaries of subject and institution. Thus create a shared discourse that will enrich both the academy and the Church. However such a task can only be undertaken in a spirit of humility with a readiness to listen.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Week 8 : While on strike and preparing for conference

Maximum number of words: 80,000
Words typed so far: 17,929
Words typed this week: 2,243
Words lost this week: 257
Total increase: 1986
Days I managed to write this week: 4

Progress still steady, missed the two thousand words this week by fourteen! There is actually good reason for that, there were also eighteen different items referenced in those words and each reference has to be chased down and checked. Basically I had at least another fourteen words I could have added but I was running out of time. Fewer words lost this week but I still ended up removing some as they did not fit where they were.

I was running out of time as tomorrow I go to the Society for the Study of Theology Postgraduate conference in Edinburgh and I am giving a talk on that. No the talk is written and I did the slides yesterday but there are other things like tidying the flat, doing a bit of shopping (so I have something to eat when I get in) and packing that need doing and can not be put off until tomorrow as i am travelling.

The conference should be interesting, there are enough papers close enough for me to find stuff that interests me. Unfortunately one seminar I would on has a head on clash with me presenting a paper. I would have been struggling to choose if which to go to if it hadn't.

The strike was interesting, it compacted my working week into three days and thereby gave me officially an extra day for thesis. In actual fact it did not work like that and I ended up tired out on the day and slept about half of it but at least I got some reading done.

I am also beginning to struggle with how bitty the thesis writing is and loose track of all my drafts and I have not started the really serious part of actually writing the data chapters! I am still on the methodology but should soon finish that.


Friday, November 25, 2011

Week 7: Oh dear lost some words

Maximum number of words: 80,000
Words typed so far: 15,965
Words typed this week: 2,868
Words lost this week: 1,286
Total increase:1,582
Days I managed to write this week: 4

Well I wrote over 2,000 words this week but I went to my supervision and my supervisor rightly pointed out that I was putting in words into sections where they did not belong.

One of these sections was probably about 200 words, the other of these sections was over a thousand, so I had to edit them both out and put them in oddments files incase I wanted to take the words and put them back in later in the right place. I hope I now have the right stuff in the methodology about autoethnography and I think I have most of my ethics written. My section on writing is off with the proof readers. Now all I have to do is decide what to do with the auto-ethnography as most of the section has been to the proof readers already.

Oh one of life's ironies looks like it is going to happen next week. On Wednesday the UCU is on strike. Most students seem to get unhappy about cancelled lectures and such. Me? Well I am a UCU member, so I won't be working, however I will be using the extra day to do more work on my thesis. It would be good to have an extra reading day in the middle of next week, as I should be making in roads into my first theoretical section. Where I stand with respect to the research methodology I am working in.

The tradition is Ethnography, my stuff is really straight down the middle. I have done research in other traditions but the way this worked it just made sense to stick with a single methodology. It is a qualitative tradition and no I have not run away from the quantitative methodology because I can't handle numbers, nobody reading my thesis would think that and anyway I am a Statistician. Rather what I wanted to study was conceptually more amenable to an ethnographic approach. That is not what I am going to argue, rather it is to explain what makes ethnography, ethnography as opposed to any other qualitative technique. Then I have to take a more social constructivist approach rather than a realist but then add into the complexity that I believe that academic tradition actually partially shapes what you find. So I talk about culture because I am doing ethnography.

The other thing I have started doing is creating pen portraits, scenes and so on for the two congregations. These aren't for the thesis directly they are ways of me thinking myself into the congregations.

Oh well it should take me a couple of weeks to do then that is the methodology put to bed until I come to the final review.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

November 2011 Supervision

Another month and the supervision was relatively straight forward. The words are still coming, probably too many at times and part of that is delaying the time when I will have to step into the subject in detail. Not as smooth, although the paper I have attached is much in its final state, I think I will prepare a small set of OHPs just to cover the bits that are easier done on OHP but these are not essential. The hymns are probably better done that way, I can add a few extra ones for interest but I suspect I need no more than half a dozen. Actually this is quite a good overview of the thesis, there is one part missing, which I might put into the paper if ever I send it to a journal because it is there but it would have made this paper too long and it was easiest to drop.

The actual writing I have to take a couple of sections out, they belong elsewhere and add about another 30% to one section which I had not written. I am trying to get at, that I have a relationship with the congregations and a relationship with the tradition and what I am trying to work out is what is the relationship of the congregation to the tradition.

I also have the timetable for papers for the conference. The group I am with has another URC student, I just sincerely hope he has not done the sensible thing and asked about my surname and "theology" within the URC as the programme does not give first names. If he is the one minister with that particular surname then he is a New Zealand Presbyterian in origin. However he is known both to friends and acquainted with at least one of my parents. He is talking about practical godliness and how that effects the URC, from my observations I suspect more than most people think so we will have something to talk about.

The conference is popular and there are far more short paper sessions I would like to attend than I can. At two out of the four I have a choice and may volunteer to chair a session in the other which has nothing I am particularly interested in going to. Indeed there are sessions running concurrently with mine that I would be interested in going to especially some of the papers on liturgy and theology.

So back to the grindstone tomorrow and I was just thinking I would have ethics sorted this weekend.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Week 6 - Wondering if methodology is getting out of hand

Maximum number of words: 80,000
Words typed so far: 14,383

Words typed this week: 3,368
Days I managed to write this week: 4

Right as you can see from the way the thesis is progressing but I am realising that I am 14,383 and I am not nearing finishing my methodology, I have one section at best a third written and another big section to write, the reason it has been growing so substantially is that I have been needing to defend my decisions to tackle a couple of things in a very specific way. Intriguingly both of these things relate to writing. The fact is that writing up is not a process for me that is tidily separated from the analysis. I do not analyse and then write, but the writing happens as I am analysing and I seem to gain insight through writing, particularly the creative writing of scenes set in the thesis congregations. However I want to say that narrative creates a space that is separate from my voice as a theorectically interested researcher and also that it is the way I have gained a lot of understanding into the functioning of the congregations. Oh well I suppose we will see when I eventually get it to my supervisor, I suspect January time.

It is always difficult to get the time for four days of writing and yet it is so worth it. I should say that the days are days I do generative writing on and the word count is actually the number of words to make it to the first draft. This is mainly because I do the generative writing by hand and I do not fancy counting the words but the first draft is on the computer and Word will count for me.

However two articles have gone missing I know I read them last week and I just can't find them. One article had a quote from Malinowski that I want to include in it, I need to find the article because I need to know where the quote is precisely. The other was someone talking about how they presented their thesis and would have been useful to cite as it was a more interesting approach and I can remember the approach but I can't find an article describing it. Bother, bother, bother!

Meanwhile I have had a query from my one published article that might mean I need to write up a paper for quite a major journal and see if I can get it published. That will be interesting task but I did not intend to write papers while writing my thesis and this will be the second!