Family Emergence slows progress

Last weekend I was really looking forward to this weekend and at last a chance to sit down and work solidly on my thesis. That hope lasted until Tuesday and on the evening I got a phone call from my sister to say Dad had collapse while out with friends and she was at my parents' home waiting for a taxi to bring my Mum home. It was agreed she would look after Mum who has dementia that night and I would take over the next day. Whereas I am single and therefore with compassionate leave from work, my sister has a two children and a husband working both for a church and as the book keeper for her husband who is self employed.

So for the last five days my role has been a main carer for my mother. This is not made any easier by the fact that Dad is in hospital 43 miles away, and though Google says it is 48 mins I would say it is more than an hour when dealing with the real traffic. Given that my sister travels for half an hour before starting that journey and on the route calculator from my home to the hospital is the furthest of the three this is not easy. There is also a limit to the amount of compassionate leave I can take.

Unfortunately my father has unrealistic expectations of what I can do. He seems to think I can work, do my thesis and look after Mum 24/7 and also get mum to see him every day. If I  walked out mum would immediately be put in a home with no choice indeed her doctor is not really happy with me doing this as interim. My sister on the other hand has been a brick.

I have done some reading and even a bit of writing but it is hard to do much concentrated as I am working into the times when Mum does not need my immediate attention. So progress has slowed right down although I am aware that the reading will mean that I better versed that I would have been in British Congregational studies. However even that is not getting much attention. Oh the photo was taken at Dunahm Massey today when I took Mum out to take her mind off things. Unfortunately travel is a very good way of allowing her to forget. Actually it does the worse thing it can for Mum's memory which is ask her to sit quiet for a while.  Train travel at least allows her to interact with me or whoever is travelling with her. If she is active or interacting it seems to keep her memory working.

Actually if you had asked before this who would do the organising and who the hands on care for my Mum I would have guessed that it would be better the other way around but actually Mum seems to be calmer with me and my sister is a whizz at dealing with people in authority and finding out what we need to know such as exactly which ward in which hospital Dad is in.